Growing up, I was never close with either of my biological parents. They both were more intersted in themselves than to care for my two younger sisters and me. I thank God everyday for the family he provided outside of my parents. My mother's side of the family became a stronghold for us. They became the source of light that was needed for this unconvential world that my sisters and I were being raised in. I saw more than most people see in their life by the time I was 10. I had seen my mother attempt to murder my father several times, I had seen my father drunk, high, and even both at the same time. I had met more drug dealers than your average dope head, and I had been abused by many of my parent's friends, both physically and emotionally. I am not sure what my sisters remember because they are about 4 and 5 years younger than me, but I know that these experiences have given us three girls a different look on life. When I was 10, my parents finally decided to get a divorce. Even though they had only been married for about 5 or 6 years, my father and mother just wouldn't and couldn't make it work.
Why am I mentioning this small amount of detail you may be asking? It's because I wanted to shed light on the fact that my life has never been ideal. Despite all of the awful things that happened to my sisters and I, we still managed to find happiness in the every day. I always knew I was different from the other kids at school. I didn't know how, I just knew. It wasn't until I started experiencing the grace of God in about the 8th grade that I realized my life was special. My grandmother always told me about how when I was being christened the pastor that was holding me said there was something special about me. I had always thought she just told me that story because she was proud of me, but the more I felt God's presence, the more I knew I was set apart.
I started feeling the need to get involved with my church's youth group in the 9th grade. I was immediately welcomed by it's members and felt like I finally had found a place where I belonged. By having all of those Christian friends, I started to feel my self-esteem rise. I joined the youth choir and started going to summer camp. I met my first boyfriend and I was thankful because besides my grand-father, he was the first Christian guy I had ever known. Even though our little relationship wasn't meant to last, I thank God for it because I know it was His way of showing me what a Christian guy should resemble, and what I needed to look for in my future relationships. Obviously I didn't want to be involved in any type of a relationship like that of my parents, but I didn't really know what to look for. By joining that group, I met so many amazing people. I fell in love with God and this group of friends he had me apart of. I felt, and I was so blessed to be surrounded by people who loved me in a Christ-like way. I didn't feel lonely anymore, and it made me start to realize what love is, and why it never fails!
