busy...busy...busy

"Beware the barrenness of a busy life." Socrates

I have come to realize that being busy with life is making me miss life. Between school, work, packing for my move, and trying to balance my relationships, my mind is melting with exhaustion. I don't want to be sulky, but when life hands me lemons, I just get sour. I am usually the person who enjoys my freedom, I look forward to my days off and want so desperately to just go to an art museum and sit and stare at a painting. I want to go to the coffee shop around the corner and listen to the local music. I want to go to the beach and read my favorite book, or just lay on the couch and watch lifetime movies all day. I need quiet time in my life. I am a reflective person and I long for the days when I can just be quiet and think. Being busy though, makes that impossible. You are probably wondering what this has to do with love. I write this because it has come to my attention that the busier I get, the more self-consuming I become. I understand that the hustle and bustle is almost a requirement now days in order to "survive," but sometimes I want more than just to survive. I show love by helping and spending time with family and friends. When I don't have time to show my love and helpfulness, I tend to recoil in to my own being. My heart needs to show love, and without the time or energy to do it, I start to grow barren. I start to feel like I have no point in this life. If my purpose is to be love, then I need to love. In order to really feel like I'm living, I need to be love. I must find time in my chaotic life to be love.