A Story Because I Can't Sleep...

I am returning to teach tomorrow after being off for 2 weeks. I am both excited to return, and dreading to have to wake up to professional attire and deadlines. Obviously I'm writing this because I can't sleep. My son is screaming in the next room because we are trying to put him back on his schedule. He was sick for over a week sand was held every night, but that clearly can't continue.

Anyways, on to the story I promised because I can't sleep...

It was a calm night, possibly in the middle of June, right before the summer solstice. The wind barely whistled through the trees and the boat that Lucy was on was slowly bobbing up and down. She was exhausted from having a day filled with the sun. She laid on the deck and let the subtle wind dry her hair as she thought about all she had done that day. Memories of fishing and swimming flooded her brain and she smiled. She reminded herself that she had caught the biggest fish anyone in Locktown had ever seen. She smiled at the thought of splashing her friends and family in the quaint tide pool they had stumbled upon while riding their bikes in to town. She reflected on the busy day she had and couldn't help but feel overcome with happiness. She started drifting off to sleep as she let the waves rock her to a dreamy place. A place that she felt comfortable in.

Am I missing out?

Unfortunately I am a working mother. I love my job, but I love my family more. My time with them is so limited that at times it almost seems unbearable. I never want Evan to feel like he is second to my career. 

He is the reason that I work so hard. I became a teacher because I know I have an overwhelmingly amount of love for children. I just didn't know how much I could love my own son.

They say you don't know love until you are a parent, and it's so true. 

Everything Evan does is an amazing little miracle. He has never disappointed me and I can't imagine that he ever will.

He truly is a miracle from God.

I know in my heart that God has me where I am for a purpose. I also know that once he is in school I will be able to bring him with me every day. 

I will get to give him a kiss on the cheek as he enters in to his classroom and I will get to hear all about his day on the drive home.

Education is so incredibly important and I feel that by me being a teacher, he is already ahead of the game. He is only 14 months old and knows about 20 words!

Sure, he can't walk yet, but I believe it's because he doesn't want to.

I am biased, but I believe that he is incredibly smart. I will do my best every day to encourage him to make the right choices and push him to be the best that he can be!

Happy 1st Birthday, Evan

I can't believe you are already one! This past year has flown by. I wanted to take this time to talk about some of my favorite memories with you this past year.

My memories with you really begin in January of 2013. I went to the hospital 3 times before you were actually born. You were so big. You used to kick me, hiccup, and just move constantly it seemed like.

The night I went in to labor, I had just had a baby shower At Hampton for you. I fell asleep around 9, but woke up at midnight feeling like you were going to fall out of me. I laid in bed while your father slept and started counting my contractions. I finally convinced your dad to take me to the hospital around 4am. We saw the nurse around 6 and she said you were going to be born! Your dad and I got so excited! We called everybody to tell them that our sweet baby boy was going to be born!

You were born at 5:37pm and you were 7 pounds 13oz. You were 2 weeks early exactly. Dr. Jackson handed you to me and you looked straight into my eyes and you knew that I was your mom. You had the sweetest blue eyes

When I was holding you, the nurse said she didn't like the way you sounded when you were breathing. I was so scared! You were my new baby and I was worried you were going to have something wrong with you. The nurse and your dad went to the NICU and I had to go to my room, alone. I was so sad and scared. I didn't sleep at all that night, I just wanted to hold you, but I couldn't walk because I had been cut open.

The next day your dad wheeled me down to see you, and I got to feed you for the first time. You only stayed in the NICU until that afternoon, then you got to come and stay in the room with me and dad. I was so excited. I knew you were going to be ok.

We went home that Sunday, the 10th. Uncle Josh and Aunt Kristin helped us take you home. I stayed up so many nights just staring at you and kissing you! Aunt Jodi came and stayed a few days with us to help give me advice and rest. I was off work for 7 weeks with you! The best time of my life!

We moved out of that apartment in Irving in may to Carrollton to a town home called Lakehill townhomes in unit 8D. We spent our first summer there. It flew by, as our time together always does. 

My favorite memory is when you were 4 or 5 months old, I took you to an indoor waterpark and you LOVED playing in the water. Pretty soon after that you started splashing like crazy I the tub. 

Some of my favorite memories of our first year include staying up with you countless hours for weeks on end and just staring at you, making sure you were breathing. 

I loved watching you discover new skills, like when you first learned how to spit. I never should have laughed at that, because you never stopped. 

I celebrated my first Mother's Day with you by having you be dedicated to The Lord, how precious! 

We celebrated several firsts, including your first word, mama! 

It was rainy and icy on Halloween, so we had to wait a few days and we went to the trunk or treat atCovenant. 

We celebrated Thanksgiving in Anna, then drove to Denton. We went to our first back Friday sale where I couldn't stop finding gifts for you, but of course I only got you 4.

Christmas was wonderful! You got SO MUCH!! I had n idea what we were going to do with it all. 

Then, came time for me to plan your first birthday. It was 2 weeks before Uncle Josh's and Aunt Kristin's wedding. We had at least 40 people come to see you and celebrate you! We had it on Sunday, February 9. You had your very own cake and got so much stuff! I had you in yellow skinny jeans, an Incredible Hulk shirt and black chucks. Oh yeah, and aunt amy cut your hair that morning! 

My purpose in writing this is so that you will know 2 things.

1. You are SO loved. Not just by me, your dad, our family, or our friends, but also by our Heavenly Father. I know He has a purpose and plan for you, and my prayer daily is that you will always seek His wisdom and guidance. While God has given us free choice, it is imperative that you die to your will daily and stay on that narrow road that God has so delicately prepared for you.

2. I want you to remember that every day, every second of your life is a testament to God. There will always be people wanting to bring you down, but remember that you are strong! Evan means God is gracious and I want you to be humble, purposeful, and loving every day of your life.